I was sorting through my backlog of half-finished projects when I came upon the ole "Someday later maybe" folder- a lonely place, full of good intentions and poor executions. I thought it might be fun to take a tour of some of these sad never-was-es (and in most cases, never-will-bes... though a few might get a take-two someday.)
Strappy Mitts
Some sort of weird bondage-gear/snowbunny mashup, I actually wore these for quite awhile, as the angora blend was pretty cozy.
Why they didn't get published:
Bad photos, half-formed notes, and a general lack of enthusiasm about the design on my part.
Prairie
I actually like this one, and will probably spruce it up and remake it.
Why it didn't get published: I wasn't happy with the photos, and with a few details, and then the notes got lost... I can't even tell you what yarn that is, now.
Gator Gaiter
A variegated Malabrigo neckwarmer with a neat slipped stitch pattern and a very satisfying name.
Why it didn't get published: This blurry monstrosity is the best photo I have of it. I have no idea where it is, now. Maybe I sold it? Yeah, this was an early one, I didn't exactly have my workflow down yet.
Here is a recent one, affectionately named the "Buttscrunch hat" on my computer (the working names are not often the final names, but even so, I think that's telling.) It looks like a perfectly mild-mannered hat from the front...
Why it didn't get published:
.... and it looks like some sort of vagina-dentata, vertically-mouthed-alien, malformed anus from the back. I was experimenting with putting decreases in different sorts of places and, well... those are not good places. I made a second version with more standard decreases:
But honestly? It was boring. And the pictures weren't that interesting, and I just wasn't into it without something cool going on in decrease town.
Billie Sue
I love this pattern actually, and it will get published, just as soon as I reknit it, 'cause...
Why it didn't get published: I chose to knit this out of a Malabrigo test yarn over two years ago and it's still not on the market (and as far as I know, there are no plans to make it so.) It would literally take me less than a day just to reknit the thing, but I haven't yet. I am a little bit nervous that I have lost the notes.
Jellyfish Love
This one is a real tragedy, because the charts for it were (are) awesome.
Why it didn't get published:
The brim looks like shit, the tension is bad (needs a higher stitch count, which means tweaking the charts), and the whole darn thing is too short.
Emrigail
This one was actually available for awhile, and I do rather like the weird pictures.
Why it was un-published:
I realized (or rather, a knitter realized) that if you didn't have the exact stitch AND row gauge, you'd end up with a very wonky shape. I've been meaning, for ages, to rework it and see if I can't make it work anyway (because it's very hard to match someone else's stich AND row gauge- when one changes, so does the other.) This is why we test knit things! (I wasn't very good about that when I was first starting out, I'm afraid.)
Stashblaster
I don't think I have to explain this one. It's a ridonkulous stocking cap made of handspun scraps that is way too small for a human head. I do want to knit another ridonkulous stocking cap someday, but...better than this.
And there you have 'em... all the failures I have photos of. I'm sorry, little projects. We can't all be rock stars. Or, "barely-competent."