Sunday, June 7, 2009

Serious Business

Yarn is fun and all, but tonight I'd like to talk to you about something a little bit more serious. It is a dire and unpleasant affliction, which affects close to 99% of all women.

I am talking, of course, about body hair.*


Now, I am a LADY and do not like to speak about such things as pores (which I don't have) or pooting (which I don't do) but I will break my dainty vow of propriety to share with you a very important discovery.

These things:

are AWESOME.

Why are they awesome?

Well, for one, they do the same job as waxing, but only cost about as much as a single salon wax (it is still what we call down on the homestead a "stupid impulse buy," being as I am but a simple small-time purveyor of fine yarns, and not a wealthy lady, but it is worth it.) Also you don't have to go to a salon and get all paranoid about the gaggle of adorable southeast Asian ladies talking smack about you in their native tongue. You can do it in the privacy of your own home, but unlike home wax kits, you will not be glued to EVERY FUCKING THING IN SIGHT for the next three days. ("Just dab a little cold cream or baby oil on the leftover wax", they say. Well, I didn't know I was going to need to buy cold cream, and the "leftover wax" is covering my entire leg, which is still hairy.) Plus you never have to buy refills, so it still works out cheaper.

Reason two.... you don't need a reason two. But it IS sparkly.


And yeah, it feels like you're being tattooed by killer bees, especially the first time (and god help you if you try it anywhere but your legs- it made my armpits cry, I am pretty sure.) But pain builds character, and you get used to it. It does leave a few too-short or too-wispy hairs, but nothing a razor can't fix, and it'll make your shave look and feel way better for way longer. And honestly, it's kind of fun.






*Unless, of course, you're one of those ladies who likes to keep things natural, in which case more power to you. Please feel free to ignore this post completely, or pass it along to a friend who was more successfully brainwashed by the patriarchy.

**Disclaimer: the one above, the Braun Silk Epil Xelle-something, is the one I have, but I'm sure other brands are just as good. And no, this post was not paid for by Braun, though if they wanted to beer me a little yarn money for my efforts I wouldn't stop them. But it really is a good product. Click the picture to go to drugstore.com and read all the five star reviews.

3 comments:

  1. I find this oddly persuasive...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've owned a very similar model of this Braun and I LOVE it. I've been using mine for 3-4 years now, and it's wonderful. It leaves my legs lovely for at least a week or two. Passable for up to 3 weeks or so.
    It does involve a little bit of pain, but it's tolerable.
    I've never had a problem with wispy hair, but for those few too-short hairs, just tweeze them!
    I'm so glad I've come across someone else who loves this machine as much as me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Seriously? Is it awesome? I need to know. I am thinking of getting it...

    ReplyDelete

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